4 Things I Wish We Would Stop Saying
Some things people say about health, wellness and weight loss really bug me. Here are 4 things I wish we would stop saying.
If I’m being completely honest (and I genuinely always try to be), I really wish people would stop saying them.
I guess the reason these things get to me so much is that I used to say them too! Word for word. Luckily, I learned that they can actually do more harm than good.
So here are the 4 things I wish people would stop saying about health and wellbeing…
1. “Ask for salad dressing on the side…”
This out-dated nutrition advice that makes us think that healthy eating has to be boring and tasteless to be done right. It tells us that even a bit of oil or sugar in our salad dressing is bad for us. It makes us avoid and fear normal, everyday, healthy food – for no good reason.
Avoiding salad dressing isn’t a smart thing to do.
Fact is that adding salad dressing with a healthy fat like extra virgin olive oil actually helps our bodies absorb fat-soluble nutrients (A, D, E and K) which are found in veggies. So dressing actually helps us get more nutrients from the salad!
Also, when you add salad dressing to your salad – you enjoy it more!
This means you’re more likely to want to keep eating salad. Over the long term, you will probably eat more salads because you think they are yum and enjoyable, instead of feeling like a rabbit on a diet. It’s likely that you’ll also stay fuller for longer because fat can also help make us feel satiated.
Whats more is that you deserve to eat food you enjoy. You deserve to eat a salad that actually has flavour. Really – It’s just a bit of salad dressing with a bit of sugar and/or fat… and it’s so worth the extra bit of energy if it helps you get through a whole plate of the good stuff.
Please add yummy salad dressings and have fun with your salads. I dare you to get fat and unhealthy from eating a bit of salad dressing on your salad.
2. “OMG, You’re so skinny!”
As though it’s a compliment…
When I had an eating disorder, I would spend a couple of weeks barely eating. After I emerged – tired and haggard, I would get people ‘complimenting’ me with things like “you’re so skinny”.
But without realising it, they were complimenting my ability to restrict myself, to punish myself and reprimand myself. They were endorsing my eating disorder. That’s messed up. But it happens all the time.
The truth is, you never know why someone has lost weight. Maybe they are sick. Or depressed. Or both. Don’t aggravate someone else’s issues over an absent minded comment.
‘You’re so skinny’ by itself – without any other comment – is not a compliment. It is a statement about weight status. An observation. Just like saying the sky is blue. So it’s just a statement and not a real compliment.
If you feel it’s your duty to comment on someones weight status (it’s not btw – it’s really not), then try adding a compliment to the the statement. Or better yet, swap it all together and actually give a genuine compliment that isn’t based on someone’s appearance like “You seem really happy”.
But if you must comment on their appearance, try “You’re looking healthy/vibrant, how have things been going?” or “You look like you’re doing well!”
3. “When I lose weight, I’ll…”
I used to put my life on hold until I lost weight. I waited and waited and nothing happened.
No weight loss. All I lost was time. I said no to fun things like going to the beach and waited for the weight that never came off, no matter how hard I tried.
If you can relate, then you’ll know what it’s like to put your life on hold for the dream of one day losing weight. The problem is that the more you think about something or focus your attention on not doing it – the trickier it can be. It’s like trying not to scratch a mosquito bite.
If you focus on the spot, it’ll keep itching. It’s much easier to get busy and distract yourself rather than sitting in a room by yourself, reminding yourself not to scratch (eat).
If you want to lose the weight, stop waiting. Get out. See friends. Make plans. Buy a bikini. Go to the beach.
People who do fun adventurous things think less about food because they are too busy having fun to care. The chances of the weight coming off when you’re out living your life is much greater then when you’re at home alone, watching TV (next to the kitchen).
And even if you don’t lose the weight by getting out there, at least you wouldn’t have missed out on your life whilst you waited for nothing.
4. “If only I was…”
Tell me – when in your life have you been at a weight where you felt 100% happy and content. Like, completely and utterly happy with your weight?
I remember being my skinniest weight when I was younger. And It never, ever felt thin enough. To be very honest? I looked back at my wedding photos recently (remember – I’ve lost 20-25kg since 2011) and I still judged my body, thinking perhaps I would have looked better if I weighed less. Just because you’re body-postive doesn’t mean you’re immune from moments of doubt. It’s a journey and I’m on the right path.
If you are the exception to the rule and feel completely and utterly content with your body i.e. you wouldn’t remove any cellulite or you don’t want to lose/gain another kilo or gain muscle etc… that is bloody awesome. Rejoice and celebrate, please!
But if you’re like me and 99.9%* of people, then know that you are chasing a moving goal post that you will never, ever reach.
(*that’s not a legit stat. I made that one up! #PoeticLicence)
It’s time to stop chasing. If not, you’ll likely spend your whole life chasing and will always feel too fat/not pretty enough etc. It’s fine to want to improve and change. I’m all for that. However, if you never ever stop to appreciate the amazing body you have, then you’ll never ever be satisfied.
Answer this: If you’ve never been satisfied with your body by now, then why is that suddenly going to change?
Trust me here – when you lose weight, the goal posts change. Just like all goals in life. When you accomplish them, you find new ones. And suddenly that size or weight {insert current dream size or weight here} doesn’t feel like enough and you want to keep going after that new and shinier goal post. Instead I’m suggesting we stop and realise just how good we got it.
I’m not saying you need to love your body (just yet) and run around naked… I am saying that at some point you need to say to yourself;
“My body is imperfect. And will always been imperfect. But that is ok”.
Truth is that if you don’t love your body at this weight, why are you suddenly going to find self-love when your skinner or leaner or stronger? Even if you think you do, you don’t. I would know. I learned first hand that you can’t punish yourself into a version of yourself you like. You have to love yourself first, and then the change will happen.
For now, practice loving your perfectly imperfect body exactly as it is.
Listen to this podcast episode to hear more about how I went from hating my body to loving it.
I know what it’s like to struggle with food and body image.
Back to Basics is designed to help you develop a healthy relationship with food and your body – while living a healthy, balanced life. Check it out here.
